Post by Admin on Sept 18, 2016 13:01:48 GMT
Rough day yesterday. Just when I think I've got depression conquered, it shows me I haven't. Just a sad, weepy day and nothing got done. Today I'm determined to edit at least 3 chapters and more if I manage it.
I had trouble sleeping last night. (the afternoon nap probably had something to do with that) so I lay in bed thinking. And pondering. I pulled up an old book of stories by Andre Norton on my Kindle. And as I'm reading them I realized that a lot of her stories would now be called novellas. Shorter works. Perfect for Kindle shorts. longer than short stories but shorter than full-length novels. And I have a ton of ideas to fit that market.
Then I remind myself that every time I get close to finishing a book, my mind floods with ideas...all meant to distract me from the actual 'finish' of a project. I don't know why I do this. I'm not afraid of success. I'm not afraid of failing. I don't know why I resist finishing. It feels like there is a reason. And I'm totally blind to it. Because I'm so self-aware, having this blank spot in my brain befuddles me. I cannot figure out why it's dark.
I must have some area of my life that I have not conquered yet. In high school, I was a solid B average student. I worked hard to keep it at B average. I don't know if I'm afraid I'll be forced to maintain a higher level and I'm basically lazy...or if its a case of not wanting people to know exactly what I'm capable of. A piece of me kept hidden. I don't know why I would do that unless the words of classmates took root when I thought I'd effectively managed to ignore them. Maybe there is a hidden cess pool of mockery at work inside my head. And I don't recognize it because I buried it very deep when it happened. It doesn't feel like that but how would I know? I can't see it.
I want the edit done before I go home next month. That is coming up very fast. So I better get to work.
I want to finish going through my documents and pull out the poetry I've written and put it here, under one thread. I want to see how much is there. I don't think its very much but I"d like to find a way to use it. It might end up being used in conjunction with my artwork. I won't know until I can see it laid out in front of me and not hidden in various places on the hard drive.
I need to think about ways to increase cash flow. Both in art and writing. I need to start getting queries out for articles. But first? I need my edit done. I need to become the bull dog and latch onto this project and not let go.
I had trouble sleeping last night. (the afternoon nap probably had something to do with that) so I lay in bed thinking. And pondering. I pulled up an old book of stories by Andre Norton on my Kindle. And as I'm reading them I realized that a lot of her stories would now be called novellas. Shorter works. Perfect for Kindle shorts. longer than short stories but shorter than full-length novels. And I have a ton of ideas to fit that market.
Then I remind myself that every time I get close to finishing a book, my mind floods with ideas...all meant to distract me from the actual 'finish' of a project. I don't know why I do this. I'm not afraid of success. I'm not afraid of failing. I don't know why I resist finishing. It feels like there is a reason. And I'm totally blind to it. Because I'm so self-aware, having this blank spot in my brain befuddles me. I cannot figure out why it's dark.
I must have some area of my life that I have not conquered yet. In high school, I was a solid B average student. I worked hard to keep it at B average. I don't know if I'm afraid I'll be forced to maintain a higher level and I'm basically lazy...or if its a case of not wanting people to know exactly what I'm capable of. A piece of me kept hidden. I don't know why I would do that unless the words of classmates took root when I thought I'd effectively managed to ignore them. Maybe there is a hidden cess pool of mockery at work inside my head. And I don't recognize it because I buried it very deep when it happened. It doesn't feel like that but how would I know? I can't see it.
I want the edit done before I go home next month. That is coming up very fast. So I better get to work.
I want to finish going through my documents and pull out the poetry I've written and put it here, under one thread. I want to see how much is there. I don't think its very much but I"d like to find a way to use it. It might end up being used in conjunction with my artwork. I won't know until I can see it laid out in front of me and not hidden in various places on the hard drive.
I need to think about ways to increase cash flow. Both in art and writing. I need to start getting queries out for articles. But first? I need my edit done. I need to become the bull dog and latch onto this project and not let go.