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Post by bill on Sept 13, 2017 2:23:36 GMT
it's interesting to read Holly's posts about her writing career. At the same time they concern me. I realize she puts a lot of her time into the website and classes, but the last e-mail about joining Patreon has me concerned. If she can't make it as an independent author, which the way I read her e-mail is exacly what she said, then how can someone like me think I can make it?
What am I missing? Did you read it the same way I did?
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Post by Admin on Sept 17, 2017 3:32:43 GMT
I think Holly is hit by the same ups and downs we are. She has worked her butt off for more years than I have. She's actually making a lot of money if you got her email a few days ago. She pulls in 6000 dollars a month but half of that goes right back out in expenses. She has not put a lot of time in her fiction. She has concentrated on her teaching and online classes. I'm not sure what her sales would be if she'd written fiction and independently published instead of putting her time, energy, and money into non-fiction.
I don't think she has any more answers than we do. She tries different things and some work, and some don't. I guess what it comes down to is what we choose to strive for. Do you write to build a career? Or do you write because you love to write. What does the journey give you? Is it worth it?
Every time I get to the point where I'm ready to chuck it all and just give up, that little voice in my head says, "I'm not ready to give up. I haven't tried everything yet.
And when I break it down, I would miss the drive. I'd regret not trying. I like to write. I feel called to share. I would dearly love an income but even if the money doesn't come, I can't not try.
I just wish there was a definite direction. A set of rules. A primer of information that if I follow it step by step I will arrive at my destination. It angers me that I have to work so hard when others seem to have a free pass. I resent the ones who have had education, and freedom to work in their chosen field and I don't know where to turn to get my answers.
And when I get to that horrible place of total self-pity, that little voice reminds me of the riches I have that others will never see. The miracles I witness that I would not have missed for the world. The struggles and hardships I've endured give me a unique perspective that nobody else has, at least, not in exactly the same way. I interpret things, based on my life, differently than anybody else would.
I can't tell you that you will succeed. I can only encourage you to search your soul for the light that guides you. If you gave up the writing. Gave up the goals, what would you put in their place? What else would occupy your mind and your heart in the same way? I have nothing against changing horses but at least have a destination in place before you do so.
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Post by bill on Sept 17, 2017 17:45:07 GMT
I understand that Holly's focus has been on the website and classes, etc. I just got the sense from her e-mail that she didn't think she could make it simply writing fiction as an independent author. But I think 9f she doesn't think she can make it with her already built in experience, ability, reader base, and name recognition, how can she believe any of us has a chance? And maybe I misunderstood her explanation, I don't know. Probably.
I have no intention on giving up. My mind is set and I am on a journey, no matter the outcome. I have large fluctuations. I can be extremely excited about the adventure and direction I'm going, and I can be depressed that I'm throwing away hundreds or thousands of hours of my life away.
But I believe God has set me on this path. Maybe my real struggle is in trying to understand why. I want to know the reason. I probably want to know because I want to decide if it's worth the struggle. If His reason lines up with mine then I can draw strength from that knowledge to continue on. If His reason is different, well, then I deserve to know so I can decide whether I want to continue or do something else. I know, that is a total lack of faith. I don't trust my Creator and Redeemer. But I think that's what is at the core of my struggle.
Even though I believe God has set the path before me, my primary motivation comes from the desire to write for a living. I want to do this full time. Lots of reasons for that - lifestyle, influence others with my ideas, share my thoughts, maybe even notoriety. That part of me will write about anything to reach the goal - fiction, nonfiction - I'd even venture into romance or fantasy (which I have no desire to write).
But what does He want me to write? To be honest, it isn't that I want to know so I can obey and follow, but so I can decide if it's worth it to continue. I hate to admit that, but it is the truth. I don't know if I realized that before (probably did but have been surpressing the thoughts) but it's coming out as I write this.
No matter my motivation, I started this course and I'm not sure I could change it if I wanted. It's neither good nor bad, just a fact. Giving up is rarely an option for me, even somethimes when it should be.
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Post by Admin on Sept 17, 2017 19:17:34 GMT
I forgot you're taking HTTS. That one course changed how I think and made it possible for me to take a project toward completion. You and I struggle a lot with the same things and, I think, for the same reason. I feel like one of my life lessons is learning how to walk in faith. That means trusting that there will be something underfoot when I take the next step. We are born into a family that instills in us self-reliance, taking care of others, never giving up. If a problem is in front of us we focus on overcoming that problem. But that, in itself, is a form of pride. It took me a very long time to realized that I don't have to 'fix' everything. I don't have to take on everybody's elses problems. I'm not supposed to. That is God's job. I only have to take care of me and do it to the best of my ability. I only have control over me. Not over anybody, or anything else.
I also feel like God has a purpose in me going this route. I sometimes feel like John the Baptist who came before Jesus, to tell other's of his coming. In my case, I feel like I'm learning how to do this business so I can help Joshua learn to navigate it and that he will build a stronger audience than I could ever hope to. Part of my wanting to earn money is so I can hire help for him. But, ideally, he should develop a career that will support himself. When I am gone, I would like to know that he can survive on his own talents and not be dependent on a paycheck from somebody else. But to do that, he must become literate and knowledgeable. I know he can never be physically independent but I would like to know he can achieve financial independence. He has a trust fund but, realistically, it won't support him forever. Not if he has to hire a personal aide, which he will. There must be some way to survive without relying on the trust fund for everyday living.
I don't think you lack faith but I do think you might want control. I know I do. And giving control over to an unseen Being isn't rational but it is what our hearts tell us must be done. I'm not sure what God wants but I know He has created opportunities for me to be in front of people. First, directing choir, which was the most terrifying venture I ever did and one I became pretty good at. But also speaking in front of people. When I begin to talk there is an energy in me that comes out that isn't completely me. I really think I'm being trained, step by step, for something that will, not minister, but encourage, empower, and motivate others. I hope so, anyway.
I think writing also takes you closer to your mother. She wrote because she was passionate about it. She wasn't a right brain writer like I am. She worked way harder at it than I do. I think she would have been a really good author if she had promoted but she didn't really want to do that. She just wanted to write the stories. I'm glad you are re-issuing them and maybe getting out some of the ones she didn't get to.
HTTS is a real mind bender. It isn't just about writing. It's about how the logical brain and the creative brain learn to communicate with each other better. I found out that I have a creative muse but I also have a logical brain that I have been able to personify. Picturing them in their different roles helps me function better. A non-creative person finds this type of thinking very strange but I figure if it works, use it. But for logical thinkers learning how to communicate with the creative muse can be a very strange experience.
If you ever want a book that opens creativity and helps to identify blocks that may have happened very early in life, The Artist's Way by I think her name is Julia Cameron is an interesting study. I never got all the way through it because I got hung up on one of the exercises. It made me angry but it also opened my mind in a very interesting way and created a better understanding of why I was so reluctant to finish projects. Some of those early life experiences can play havoc on the creative mind but they can also open up an explosion of energy when one gains understanding.
I've yakked long enough but I love these types of discussions because it helps me evaluate my own journey.
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