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Post by bill on Nov 4, 2018 4:06:34 GMT
I tried writing my feeling and a little poetry. I don't know if it helped, but it got my word count up for the day. I had all day to write and barely got 2,000 words. Maybe some sleep and church in the morning will help.
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Post by Admin on Nov 4, 2018 12:18:05 GMT
You might have evolved in your writing to the point where Nano isn't the nudge it used to be. For me, Nano just makes my jaw tighten and I feel a welling of resistance rise up in me because it feels like a command to produce words and I possess a contrary nature that doesn't like being told what to do. The fact this all plays out in my own mind with me taking all sides is irrelevant. A therapist would have a field day with my mind and how it works.
Sleep goes a long way toward bringing back balance.
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Post by bill on Nov 5, 2018 2:48:25 GMT
I like Nano. It's the only time (almost) I get myself away from my analytical brain and let my muse take over. That's a small part of my problem - I haven't turned the editor off yet.
The bigger problem is deeper and has been haunting me for weeks. I've lost confidence. I'm plagued with doubt. It's always been there but recently it has taken over. I tell myself not to believe the doubt, but my emotions grab onto it like it's gospel. I know it's in part the waves of emotions I experience, but I wish I knew what I could do to quicken my escape. It's exhausting and counter-productive.
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Post by Admin on Nov 5, 2018 12:29:46 GMT
I get that. I go through periodic episodes of why do I bother? Nobody reads my work and it is time consuming and how happy I'd be if I could just let it go. Usually that happens when I think of my work being done for others. Truth is, I write for me. When I keep it on my own playground I'm fine because I'm producing what I want but validation through the others would be...validation of worth. I've spent most of my entire life walking a solitary path. It gets lonely.
When I get back to Kansas we can coordinate better and 'shove/pull' each other along. Its way more interesting when there are companions on a long journey.
I want to help Angie get her logo/business tax number etc. to start her up as an artist. Tati wants to be a photographer. Kinsey is an artist. It would be so cool if we could band together and create a group of motivated, artistic people that feed each other creative energy and positivity.
I'm getting so old, and so tired, that I wonder if I'd be better off just giving up and being a putterer but I know that my own inner drive won't let me do that. And I have this gut feeling that when we take our focus off pleasing others, and create from the correct place, great things happen.
Writing, or art, or any creative process doesn't have a grade attached. You can't 'ace' the test. You can only put out a product from the place you are in at that moment. I knew, going in, that I would never be as green as the first piece I shared. And I will not be as good as the next piece I share. It's a process.
If the editor is giving you fits, then maybe back off from the promoting/marketing (unless something pops up right in front of you) and simply take the winter to put words on paper. It doesn't matter if they are messy, or scattered. You can order them and edit them later. Just give yourself permission to toss words around like confetti. When I'd get stumped for a newspaper article and deadline for turning in was mere hours away, I'd often just start making a list of random nouns just to see if a word, would pop up a memory, or idea.
The only way you fail is if you quit. and even that isn't failure. It's re-direction. Goals change and every time I tell myself I'm ready to quit, that little voice in my head says, but you haven't done this yet. I need to get all the projects in my head 'done' before I decide I've done all I can do.
Winter is coming. days are getting dark. Turn on some lights. Buy some daylight bulbs if you need to because you may suffer from that syndrome where shorter hours cause depression. I've stopped buying soft white bulbs anymore and buy the bright daylight ones. I'm happier in the brighter light. It may have a physical component.
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Post by bill on Nov 13, 2018 3:21:44 GMT
I'm making progress. I passed 15,000 words in Nano. I'm behind a little, but Sydney and Blake are going to Texas with Tammy over Thanksgiving so I should have ample time to catch up then.
At the same time this month I'm reading through manuscript for Vetrix 4 and making notes on what I need to do to get it ready for beta readers. That's my next goal after I finish Vetrix 5. I also may have a handful of scenes in 4 that I can write this month as part of Nano.
I attended the Air Capital Comic Con this weekend. I sold four books, all by noon on Saturday. I started off so great it got me excited a little, but then reality hit. I was hoping my new cover would gain more interest, but I'm not convinced it has. May be too early to tell, I don't know.
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Post by Admin on Nov 13, 2018 3:44:04 GMT
I'm struggling this week. Overeating and non-productive. I realized today that its stress and worry. I knew Dixie was going to have surgery today and I fell back on all of my old unhealthy habits. Waking up this morning to seeing that Jimmy passed last night really threw me into a depression. I'll be okay tomorrow. Usually just recognizing the cause helps me put things where they belong.
You're doing great. I hope the new job is to your liking. I have a busy week coming up. A possible house that may fit our needs. Way sooner than I expected but it would be nice to know where we're going to land. Just the logistics of taking 45 years of living and relocating is daunting. One part of me wants a house that is already built. Another part of me really wants to build 'our' space just the way we want and need it. I just want this year to fly by and put us where my heart wants to be and that is closer to family.
Just think how easy it will be to get the information you need from me when I get close enough for you to chase me down. :--)
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Post by bill on Nov 13, 2018 13:31:57 GMT
It will be so awesome to have you in Kansas! I'm thankful to see this is really happening.
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Post by Admin on Nov 13, 2018 21:37:39 GMT
I've been working toward it for quite a few years. Just so glad Hank is coming with us.
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Post by bill on Nov 19, 2018 3:41:15 GMT
Nano: I'm kind of working on two books, Rex (Vetrix, book 5) and Vetrix book 4 (which I still don't have a name for!). Overall, I'm about 1,200 words behind the goal. I'll easily make that up this week as my kids are going to Texas over Thanksgiving. I started writing on Rex, but I'm also going through book 4, making notes of what I need to do to get it finished, and have done some writing of a few scenes. I'll probably continue to jump back and forth between the two projects. I'll get done what I can on book 5, but I don't have a good idea of what's going to happen, although part of that comes out as I write.
It does feel nice to have my focus back. It means a lot of other things are being ignored for right now, but that's okay.
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Post by Admin on Nov 19, 2018 5:02:29 GMT
I know the feeling about being split in different directions. I had a bit of a stall and I know its because Luciana threw me a curve and I'm avoiding the scene and because I'm avoiding something I know needs done, I'm curled up and hiding from it all. I got my painting sketched out and a second one that Nyla ordered printed out. I'm going to transfer a photo onto wood. Its rather a fast technique but artistic and will give her what she asked for without me having to put a lot of time in on it, time I don't have. Josh and I are heading for Kansas on Thursday. I'll be in Kansas for a week. busy schedule. I'll be in KC on Sunday and back in Emporia Monday morning. Looking at two houses MOnday with the realtor. I need to schedule a meeting with Wardcraft either on Wed. or Thursday. Nyla is taking me through a home but that shouldn't take long. I'll head back here on the 30th. Once I get home, I'll be tackling the house and freshening and updating as I can so we can put it on the market by March.
I'm writing and happy with what I write. I'm just not doing enough of it. Last day for the tutor is tomorrow. And probably last week for the bath aide. I will no longer have a flexible schedule. Trying to coordinate with others will drive me nuts. So I'm opting not to.
Before I forget, the report was okayed by the court. Next year will be much simpler. I'll just have to provide a statement, and the two 3rd quarter reports on the trust.
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Post by Admin on Dec 3, 2018 4:45:10 GMT
What a week. Enjoyed my visit to Emporia. Looked through several houses. Toured Wardcraft in Clay Center. Found a floor plan I love. Found a possible building site but Hank still wants me to check Cottonwood Falls again. I'll be home again end of Feb. if the weather permits. I'm way behind on everything although I did finish a new painting that will go to the gallery this week. Need to get several more drawn out. Need to get Knock Knock typed up. I don't know why I keep pushing it aside.
I let both the tutor and the bath nurse go. I do not want to have outside help this winter. I'm tired of juggling schedules. I just want to worry about me for awhile. I have a ton of work lined up and I don't want to stop. The bath nurse always showed up at suppertime and I'm tired by evening. Just don't want to deal with it.
Dixie is recovered from her surgery so I can relax about that. Joshua's new chair is done. We pick it up on the 10th. Life is full. Just wish we were already moved. I'm so ready to be in Kansas.
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Post by bill on Dec 3, 2018 17:38:26 GMT
It will be great to have you in Kansas! You'll have your hands full the next few months, I'm sure! Nano - I made my 50,000 words. I started writing on Vetrix 5, but as I read through my rough draft of Vetrix 4 I found more scenes that needed written. Then once I started my muse added a whole new subplot I hadn't planned. I spent well over a week on that story. And I spent at least the last week on A World Amongst, added some scenes that needed written. So I got major chunks written on three different stories. Vetrix 4 - It is going to take a lot to get this revised, but I think it's going to be a good story. I think I'll take it through HTRYN (or at least parts of the course), because I have several subplots, including a little time travel element, that is going to be tricky to organize. I have decided if it doesn't make it out by the fall that I will be okay with next winter. A World Amongst - I had hoped to have this to a beta reader before Nano but didn't quite make it. I've decided I'm going to focus on getting this and my mystery, ready for querying and that is my top priority for now. I'm focusing on A World Amongst for the next few weeks until I send it to a beta reader. I want to start shopping it early next year. When the Time is Right - I want to go through this again after I send A World Amongst to the beta readers. I need to decide if I'm going to add any to it, then I want to finish and start querying. Because I had planned to both this and A World Amongst for Zebulun, I have query letters and synopsis' ready to go. I hope to spend most of next year shopping these two stories. Or maybe I'll just shop them for a month and they'll get picked up by an agent. Marilyn's project - The first of her projects is your parent's and their kids' families - your families. Yesterday I went through and organized documents in piles. Now I need to go through each of you siblings' documents and see what I have and begin putting them together. We want this complete by next summer for the reunion. So if you find any documents or writings or pictures you think would be good to include while you're packing and organizing, send them my way.
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Post by Admin on Dec 3, 2018 22:39:10 GMT
I think I've got stuff already written that I can send, if I can find where its at. It might be on the passport and it might be in a post I sent to Sharon. I have som pictures I can send. Not many, but a few. I'll get them sent to you. Just keep nudging me. I respond well to specific questions. If I start writing, I can go off on tangents and who knows how much jumping around. I'll try to stay on point.
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Post by bill on Dec 10, 2018 4:31:30 GMT
Yes, please send me anything you would like to include!
A World Amongst - I'm reading through and making notes what I need to do to finish. My goal this week is to go through section three and get it cleaned up. I think it needs the least amount of work, and there are a couple of places that make direct references to the first two chapters, which I need to make sure they harmonize. If it takes me longer than a week, fine, but that's the next step.
Family book - I didn't touch this week so need to get a good feel for what I have. I should probably focus on one section at a time.
2019 Goals - I want to start my goals for next year. Maybe not finish, but start. I have a lot in my mind and need to organize them. I didn't do a good job this year at focusing on the bigger picture and I think it hurt my writing.
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Post by Admin on Dec 10, 2018 4:44:30 GMT
My life is topsy turvy right now. I have to get Patreon up to date and get a few things posted on Medium. I've gained followers even if I haven't posted as often as I should.
Artwork is going fine. I'm staying up with Christmas preparations. Staying on top of real estate options. Drawing out house plans. They are rough but all I really need is the general idea.
Tomorrow I take Joshua to get his new wheelchair. Looking forward to him being more comfortable. It will mean getting him back on a work schedule. Right now he can't stay long in the chair before he needs out of it.
As always, lack of time is my biggest problem. I'm happy with what I get done. Just never get enough of it done.
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